Today’s rumors are not sponsored. A moment of silence for all the violence!
TIVO RUMORS!
Anybody
from TiVo out there ? holla at me. I?m hearing some foul rumors! I
heard that they are going to stop the fast forward option on the TiVo
machines going forward. WHAT? Now, that makes it worst than a VCR,
correct? The rumor is nobody?s watching commercials anymore. They need
to do like The Office and spam us with commercials in side a good show.
I?m still not going to buy that computer or that brand of potato chips
that they try to slip in my subconscious mind. Anyway, I?m going to DVR
if they remove ?fwd? from my TiVo.
MORE ON CHERI DENNIS
So,
I?ve obtained a bit more information on my girl Cheri Dennis and her
recent arrested. I heard she was down in Tampa and had a lil? too much
to drank. Well, what happens when people drink? They can get a lil?
crazy, like a Seal record. The police reportedly came around the way
and requested that she calm her booty-butt down and she didn?t oblige
them. They slapped the cuffs on her and she went to jail. Ahhhh?but got
out with a mere $500 so you know it was nothing.
FABOLOUS FIGHT IN NYC!
Now,
I want to get it clear, Fa-bo-lo-us wasn?t fighting. Yesterday at the
Fabolous in-store at F.Y.E. in NYC, two employees from Def Jam and Bad
Boy allegedly got to a fight when somebody started yelling, “Lets take
to the streets!” Suddenly, a punch is thrown and all hades breaks loose
right there in the signing session! People looked like they were
running for there ever-loving lives. Then, I heard Fab’s security
jumped in and it got even crazier. I’m not saying who, but one of the
street teams started pulling out bats and using them! I’m saying – what
the heck is going on? This ain’t Hip-Hop!
SHOUT OUTS!
Shout
outs! Shout out to Devin in Tampa ? what it do? What?s good, Lilliam!?
Big ups to Yardseed, my Jamaican brother from another mother! Joe
P?what?s the deal?
50 CENT TO WARNER?
You
know, lets be honest. 50 Cent has expressed a certain level of
discontent with his present label home. I am getting some interesting
intel that says that Mr. Cent might be going over to Warner. To add to
this rumor, his manager Chris Lighty has just sealed a new deal with
Warner for a brand management company. I find that an interesting
marriage that only adds to what?s out there. Very interesting. Now, I
even heard that 50 Cent?s Curtis might not even come out. I also heard
that it might come out on Warner! I can?t call it!
POLL ? WHO CONTROLS HIP-HOP!
THINGS THAT PROVE THE WORLD IS COMING TO AN END
You
won?t believe this one. The U.S. government is reportedly creating a
bomb that is designed to turn soldiers GAY. This is called ?The Gay
Bomb.? This hormone-based bomb would blow up and make men more
interested in having sex than fighting. The report said, “One
distasteful but completely non-lethal example would be strong
aphrodisiacs, especially if the chemical also caused homosexual
behavior.” The thing was eventually rejected, but I think its still out
there. Some gay advocates said it was offensive and laughable. I think
they should love this new development. If they had a ?Black Person
Bomb? that made people Black, I would be with it! The more the merrier!
LOL! Seriously, they should let this bomb off in the White House so
they will stop the war!
MC HAMMER SAYS ?BRING OUR BROTHERS HOME!? MC Hammer agrees with me!
NEW GURU ? FEATURING COMMON!
Guru’s Jazzmatazz – State of Clarity (feat. Common)
What’dup people it’s Freezy again….Kelly, I will address you in a minute!
Leaving Dirty Messages!
So
apparently there are some interesting voicemail messages from Kim
Kardashian to Ray J floating around the web. Kim is blasting Ray J on
the voicemail about his new older girlfriend Whitney Houston and how it
reminds her of an incest relationship….ok the incest part was all me
BUT I know she was thinking it! Also she goes on and talks trash about,
in Ray J’s words “b*tches he f*ck”. All of this is compose into a song
and is spreading around the net…I’m trying to bootleg it as we speak.
Sounds like bonus track off of Curtis huh?
I Wanna Love You…Gwen
So
Akon has composed a song for Gwen Stefani called “Sorry.” He apologizes
for dry humping the fourteen year old preacher’s daughter/R Kelly’s
next victim….I kid! I kid! Sorry Kells, I had to. NEways Akon
mentions in the song that he had no idea Allenye (The Dry Humped
Victim) was underage and blames her father/minister for even letting
her be at the club. Word is the Gwen and Akon haven’t been on speaking
terms since Gwen lost her Multi-Million dollar endorsement by Verizon
because of Akon. You d####### a young girl and toss a kid off a stage
and you try to spit game with an updated “Sorry 2004”, Can you blame
her for being upset??
Another Tell-All Book!
Surprisingly,
I might actually buy this garbage…book! Guess who’s ex-bodyguard is
spilling the beans (snitching) about his former boss? rape case? Check
out and excerpt and realize the poo poo is about to hit the fan for the
family man. (Illseed note: I actually feel sorry for the guy.)
Garber
and Bryant meet in July 2003 in Kobe’s luxury apartment in Westwood
where the player is being entertained by two of his mistresses.Bryant
proposes to his bodyguard to eliminate in the Colorado rape case…
Say It Ain’t So Kelly!
I’m
kind of baffled since Kelly Rowland said sex is over-rated….I’m
guessing the frustration of her album and all the photo shoots has her
talking nonsense. I’m pretty sure she hasn’t talked to Luda or T-Pain
about Ray-J’s “long foot” lately. … I forgot the name of the guy she
dated on the Dallas Cowboys. Whoever he is, he better watch his back.
Two-timing ass messed it up for the rest of us!
Ok that’s all I got, back to the quickies!
ILLSEED?S QUICKIES
Kelly,
if you are reading this, I don?t co-sign any of that childish stuff.
All I can say is I am an Eagles fan and the Cowboys are my mortal
enemy. Lets ride!
Vince
McMahon tried to hoax everybody that he was killed in a limo explosion.
The joke failed. The explosion was taped ? not live ? and they even had
a pyrotechnics company get the proper permits. So the WWE leader is
alive, but his limo is fried.
Is Shar Jackson preggers with K-Fed?s baby? Rumor says so!
Eddie Murphy recently took the DNA test in Cali and he?s about to find out if he?s the daddy!
I
love how people hate on AllHipHop, but put “all hip-hop” in their
subliminal keywords so people might stumble over their crap-fill site
looking for AHH. Oh yes, illseed is talking to you, scumbag.
Ray-J
is narrating a p####? I also heard that he?s written a p#### that has
people begging him not to put out. I didn?t even know they wrote
scripts for p#####!
ILL PICS!
Bill Cosby had no idea! Whoo Kid, The Cos and illseed!
My
girl Kendra G came all the way from Chi-Town for Kanye’s party. Who is
that smiling dude in the back? I’m not promoting homey!
Dee-1 and Webbie from Trill Fam! That’s the best uni-brow since Al B. Sure!
Michael Moore is a crazy dude. I have a bright red wallet for the cops and a shirt that says, ?I am nobody? in the hood.
ANOTHER RAMBO MOVIE?
This is nearly laughable! I guess if Bruce Willis can do it, so can Sly!
TOMORROW, WE LOVE YOU!
Click here for yesterday’s rumors and call it a re-run!
They keep us talking, but if we stop talking about them then they should worry!
-illseed
WHO: illseed
WHAT: Rumors
WHERE: AllHipHop.com, MySpace.com/TheIllseed
HOW: Send your rumors and ill pics to illseed at ahhrumors@gmail.com.
– allhiphop rumors