Wow,
do you smell that? No, not the alcoholic perspiration seeping from the pores of
Irishman on St. Patrick’s Day. I’m talking about Spring! Yes, inhale that
newness. Your excuse to act and/or feel “brand new” has finally arrived.
For
many of us, Spring is the official start of the New Year. In parts of the
country that aren’t as lucky to be, as T.I. put it, “Down in Miami where it’s warm in the winter” – the climate
begins its shift from the cold, while your utility bill takes a much needed
break on your pockets. The birds are chirping, trees are growing their leaves –
and seasonal relationships are coming to an end.
You
read me right. Are you feeling a bit worried about your current connection? You
should… well, if your relationship began during or closely after November ’07.
A
seasonal relationship defines itself – the beginning or ending of a connection
that came about due to a new season. Justin Timberlake sang about “Summer Love”
on Futuresex/Lovesound. The lyrics
are based around meeting a pretty face during the Summer. He’s telling
her about the many things they could do together, while assuring the young lady
that their love will go beyond the season. Long story short, he gets the girl and the
song ends. I predict an ill fate for that connection.
At
this time, I will set the parameters for a seasonal relationship, walk you
through it and then conclude the adventure with a few warning signs. Let’s
bring our attention to the season between Election Day and St. Patrick’s Day.
Election
Day is a warning shot for the winter season to come. It’s our first reminder
that the calendar year is coming to an end, and that we have two major holidays
to stare down; Thanksgiving (with Black Friday as the wild card), followed by
the Christmas season (or the holiday that you choose to celebrate).
Togetherness is promoted/marketed hard during this period.
Single
women get all warm and fuzzy around this time. They won’t admit to it, but
there is a lot of pressure that comes with going to a holiday gathering without
someone special by their side. Especially if every woman in her tight-knit crew
has someone to bring. Not wanting to come to the event empty handed, she
decides to kiss her normal standards goodbye in hopes of finding a date that
wouldn’t mind hanging out with perfect strangers for hours on end.
I’d
like to introduce you to Candace Carmichael, 27-years-old, an employee on the
New York Stock Exchange and as single as a dollar bill. With Thanksgiving just a
week away, she goes out to a popular social spot with the mission to find a
free agent to lock arms with. Candace naturally loves the thrill of the chase,
however, with time running out and her girls throwing subliminal messages at
her, she becomes the hunter.
The
first guy (Darnell) that smiled at her, with straight teeth might I add, she
pursued. They hit it off, mainly because she allowed for it to happen. They got
acquainted, set up another date before Thanksgiving that went well, and then
she asked if he would join her for the holiday.
Darnell
was a hit with Candace’s family and friends. By the time the Thanksgiving event
was coming to an end, Candace grew fond of Darnell. Suddenly, this free agent
that never had a chance on his best day is prime real estate. Just a day later,
they were making plans to spend Christmas together. Their second holiday
together was twice as special.
They
are now under the trance of the holiday season. And with New Year’s Eve just a
week away, a time when people would normally set personal goals to achieve for
the New Year, it became a collaboration for Candace and Darnell. They are month
into their connection and already planning their future together. Isn’t that
grand?
2008
is here, so unless they plan on spending Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s birthday
marching on Washington, January is nothing more than a set-up month. All eyes
are on February, and its togetherness holiday, Valentine’s Day. February 14 is
known for catapulting a relationship into orbit or knocking it clear on its
can. The couple makes it through this holiday feeling unstoppable.
March
has arrived and it shows. Spring is nearing, which means that Summer is right
around the corner. Candace dreams of Memorial Day weekend in South Beach and
how she can’t wait to show off her body. Until she opens her eyes to the fact
that she’s gained 15+ pounds over the past few months. All this time she
was running around with a man that, in her right mind, she never would had given the
time of day. In the process, she lost track of her eating regimen with less than 90 days to get
herself right again.
A
week before St. Patrick’s Day, Candace is back in the gym with her personal
trainer. She’s eating better foods and getting back around a few of her friends
that she lost track of, due to her relationship. The days peel off the
calendar, as does the holiday glaze that once had Candace singing the tunes of
Darnell.
St.
Patrick Day arrives; a day of togetherness for the Irish. Neither Candace nor
Darnell has Irish roots. However, when Darnell stops by to visit Candace, drunk
as a skunk, Darnell reaches his rude awakening. Candace rips into Darnell for
the first and last time. Game Over…
You
hear about it all the time. Men that only want to have someone in their lives
during the winter season for the soul purpose of keeping warm; maybe a good
meal here or a good thrill there. The thicker females can attest to this one.
They’ll tell you that their man prefers a little extra body heat over spending
money on a quilt. Otherwise, you’ll find that single men prefer playing the
field between Election Day and St. Patrick’s Day to save a few bucks on
presents and chocolates.
Your
secret is out…
Seasonal
relationships don’t end in this fashion on a regular basis, but it does have
its consequences. Holiday passion has resulted in babies being born at the end
of the Summer that follows. Yes, those August, September and October babies can
be linked back to a romp in the snow.
I
just celebrated my 30th birthday earlier this month. I’d be the
first to tell you that I am a product of the prom. How do I know? Do the math. Most
proms land at the end of May, early June. Just tack nine months on the end of
that, and wham, March. Now that I think of it, if you’re celebrating Memorial
Day at a popular location this year, think protection.
March babies are the product of that weekend, especially.
When
a season changes, so does our outlook. Candace, for example, links the summer
with being extremely fit, as most of us would agree. A relationship could come
to an end for the simple fact that you are in the gym on a daily, and your
significant other is cuddled up in front of the television eating bon-bons and
drinking heavily sugared Kool-aid out of a pitcher.
A
relationship can end because school is back in session and your time is
limited. A relationship can end because you or the person that you’re with is
suddenly out of style. These are all seasonal reasons for break-ups.
What
can you do to combat it?
Tips from the
Socialite
Understand the
Circumstances.
You should look at major holidays as seasonal checkpoints. Memorial Day Weekend
is the perfect example. People are converging on one place for one reason; to
have an extraordinary time while not being their usual selves.
Wild
piercings, tattoo’s and sex with complete strangers are concrete staples of the
festivities. Any relationship birthed under these circumstances doesn’t stand a
chance of becoming a functional connection.
Just say NO to
holiday outings.
Let’s bring some tradition back to meeting the parents. Screen your choices
before taking them to family events. This will save you from having a parent
that still talks to your weekend fling a year after you broke it off. Meeting
the parents is something that should be earned through stability and
consistency with your significant other.
Also,
holidays are a time of togetherness; a time that a family can feel whole again.
There is magic in the air, even if all hell is breaking loose. People are
easily attachable during this time. So keep your flavor of the month at home.