Things My Grandma Told Me: Southern Dirty Rice


What’s hap’nin, y’all!? It’s been more than a minute since we’ve vibed. I left the industry by choice 13 years ago, but I never put the pen down. I even hit the studio every now and then because of my undying love for Hip-Hop.

Lately, I’ve been in the kitchen creating delicious originals or cooking the Creole and Soul recipes handed down to me from my grandmother. Because she was such a firecracker, I wrote a cookbook/memoir in her honor. When I threw the bullet in the movie I’m ‘Bout It, it was because my grandma kept a bag of bullets on the shelf next to her bed, and she would often joke with friends and my uncles by pitching them at them and saying, “You might catch this one, muthaf*cka, but I bet you won’t catch the next one.” Her eyes would move towards her b######## purse that held two guns, a pool ball in a sock, and a rock covered in foil paper.

The cookbook is perfectly titled Things My Grandma Told Me, Things My Grandma Showed Me, and it has chapter titles that I often tweet from my Twitter account like:

“P*ssy Don’t Make Him Stay; It Makes Him Skeet”

“The Way To His Heart Is Not Through Your Panties”

“I’d Rather Have A Second Job Than A Wet *ss From A Poor D*ck”

“If Ya Mama Didn’t Name You Doormat Or Punching Bag, There’s No Reason To Be Getting Yo *ss Walked On And Kicked”

…just to name a few. My cookbook is raw and real with some of the best food recipes you’ve ever tasted. This is who my grandma was on top of being a great cook. Today, I’m going to share our famous “Dirty Rice” recipe. Dirty Rice is great along side of any meat, but it’s also a stand-alone dish because it’s full of flavor. I’m going to be bringing many easy and tasty dishes to you, with the hopes of getting people back into cooking.

In the South, it really goes down in the kitchen, y’all. We discuss everything from who’s in jail, who’s pregnant, who’s in love, and who’s about to break up, to who graduated got promoted or fired. Y’all know how real life is. All types of conversations are held while we whip up the bomb food. To me, the world is in a microwave now days. Everything is moving so fast. Families, couples and friends don’t talk and bond the way they used to, so I’m hoping to get us back in the kitchen at least for the fire Sunday dinners, if not a few nights a week.

Cooking is not as hard as you think when you put a lil’ love and care in every pour and stir. People will be jocked out on your food in no time. My grandma use to say, “He can get head from a crack h*e n’ p*ssy from the neighborhood hot *ss. What else you got?” So my motto is: “I’m Smart…I Work…I Can Cook…n’ I’m Better in Bed!”

Make sure you follow me on Twitter @TheRealMiaX and become part of my clique, #TeamWhipDemPots. Also, be sure to try out my Dirty Rice dish. It will be a great change up and addition to all the goodies at the table this holiday season. Oh yeah, check out the title song from my forthcoming cookbook. There’s nothing like cooking some bomb ass food while you jammin’, ya heard me, baby?

[Things My Grandma Told Me – title track]


45 minutes (Prep: 25 minutes; Cook: 20 minutes – Serves 20)


1lb ground beef or turkey

1 lb of Patton’s hot sausage links removed from its skin (optional but the Bomb)

1/2 ground pork (optional)

1/3 pound of minced chicken livers

1 green bell pepper, chopped fine

1 red bell pepper, chopped fine

2 yellow onions, chopped fine

4 garlic gloves, chopped fine

1 celery stick, chopped fine

5 cups of cooked, parboiled rice

2 beef bouillon cubes, crushed

2 chicken bouillon cubes, crushed

1/4 cup of dry parsley

1/2 teaspoon of cayenne pepper

Salt and pepper to taste


Cook your meats in a large pot until browned. Add in bouillon cubes and chopped seasonings cook until seasonings tender. Add in your cooked rice and stir everything until evenly mixed.

A cool tip for additional flavor, I like to boil my rice in a combination of beef and chicken broth instead of using water. To make smaller portions, you can always cut your ingredients down to fit the number of people you’re serving. If you’re a non-beef/pork eater, turkey and ground chicken are great substitutes.