Greetings readers and Hip-Hop fans, I go by the name of Serius Jones. Many of y’all know me from my classic battles and Serius music that’s saturating the streets. However, before I was introduced to the mic, the pif, the liquor, the women and all my extracurricular activities in the streets, I was a gifted wordsmith and writer. So when AllHipHop.com asked me to write this column I jumped at the opportunity.
As a youngster growing up in Englewood, New Jersey, before they started the restructuring in my hood the lines of class were clearly separated by the train tracks. Being that we mostly stayed in our section, I never had an understanding of how people on the other side of the tracks perceived our lifestyle.
The only perception I knew that existed for us was confirmed by petrified expressions, rolled up windows and doors locks clicking whenever they passed by. It wasn’t until I saw the response to this phenomenon that was so natural and second nature to us that we never even stopped to wonder its power and potential. Most of y’all know this universal power as Hip Hop. I must say this art form has went beyond the expectations of even those such as myself that have lived and breathed it from childhood. Hip-Hop was once reserved for those from the wrong side of the tracks. It was created by rebels left without a voice and a culture who needed an outlet to express ourselves to the world. Nowadays any person with internet access can simply type in AllHipHop.com on a keyboard and dive in into this culture at the click of a button.
Now for those that are just finding out about Hip-Hop through websites like AllHipHop.com and feeling like you discovered something new, you obviously have been under a boulder for the last 20 years and it is safe to say you are what we call WACK. For those of you that are continuing to read like okay get to the funny part, well I have an interesting topic that always entertains me. SUCKA EMCEES. Now this title has been used since the beginning of Hip Hop, but to this day some people still remain unclear as to exactly how to recognize or define a sucka emcee. Being that I am not only a TRUE emcee but also have a reputation for murdering sucka emcees, allow me to break it down so it shall forever be broken… You be the judge.
If you or anyone that you know fits the following descriptions then he or she is a Sucka emcee…
1. An overall corny, wack, or swaggerly challenged individual that has no presence, personality or business attempting to do anything other than lose their virginity. (Doesn’t have to rap either.)
2. Still has a name that begins with MC in 2006.
3. Steals bits and pieces of others styles, rhymes or overall swag and incorporates them into his own trying to upgrade his/her wackness. (Also known as “Biting”)
4. Fabricates fantasies of a criminal lifestyle and portrays a “tough guy” image in effort to gain “street credibility” and respect, when in reality the only laws they’ve broken regard Meagan’s or traffic violations.
5. Goes into a recording studio and tells a producer I want a song that sounds “just like such and such.” (FYI: The majority of the industry does this. See 3)
6. Raps in loud aggressive tones and seems tough on records when they have been documented victims of robberies on multiple occasions. (Anybody can get caught out there, but more than twice? Daaamn homie!!)
7. Sold drugs unsuccessfully and only began to get money after the record deal but still uses the cliché “Im not a rapper im a Hustla” to seem more gangsta and have an excuse to be less nice lyrically. (When did it become more cool to be a drug dealer than a multi-platinum rap star??)
8. Buys top notch fake ass jewelry because fans and media will automatically think its real. (Can you say monzenite?)
9. Appears on DVD’s brandishing firearms at a helpless camera lens while yelling threats to try and trick you into being scared of them. All in an attempt to take attention away from their garbage ass raps. (Refer to the average street DVD)
10. Rides around with 4 armed muscle head bodyguards in a bulletproof car, vest, hat, and pants but picks fights with pedestrians at crowded police infested industry parties. (Trust me I’ve seen it)
11. Sends cheap shots and challenges at other rappers and then turns around and apologizes the next day. (U already know! Haha)
12. Rehearses raps with his/her entourage and comes to rap battles with prepared chants, ad-lives, routines and choreographed moves looking and sounding like the Harlem Boys Choir. (Refer to Serius Jones Smack battle)
13. Any rapper who thinks they can f**k with Serius Jones…. (In 2005 Fight Klub 12 victims in a row. Don’t get it twisted!!)
Now that you have the official documentation on the characteristics of a SUCKA emcee, this is how you can identify a TRUE emcee.
A TRUE Emcee is……
1. A Mover of Crowds or Master of Ceremonies.
2. A rapper who surpasses the level of just “rapping” and applies artwork and next level skill to his craft. Also know as being “nice” (Refer to Serius Jones “King Me” street album.)
3. A trendsetter whose opinions, style and taste is so hot and original it influences others to want to live and act and even dress the same. (Example. Pac had dudes wearing leather vests and getting their nose pierced)
4. Creates his/her own lane, is comfortable being themselves and doesn’t need to explain themselves or try to duplicate or “Bite off” someone else to be accepted.
5. A musician that understand Hip-Hop and uses his/her voice as an instrument.
6. One who can study the game and be the voice that has been missing.
To sum this up, it’s a lot easier to be a sucka emcee than a TRUE emcee. If everyone could do it, they would. Unfortunately we are not all blessed in the same capacity. So if u ain’t got it STOP IT. Don’t be a victim of sucka emceeism. Stay true to yourself and keep it a 100. I’ll be back at y’all in a minute with some more REAL talk. Until next time….
Life is Serius..
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