Straight Talk: Beware The Cinderella Syndrome!

 

There are two things I want to say before I get into the

article. 1) Happy belated Mother’s Day! and 2) Regarding the issue with my husband,

the charges were dropped and the case was thrown out. Thank you all for your

prayers. I can breathe again!

 

Now, I know a lot of you are like okay get to this Cinderella

Syndrome you’re talking about. What is it and who can get it? Let me break it

down for you.

 

When I was growing up, a lot of my peers had the mentality

that the only way out of their bitter existences, whether it be poverty or

dysfunctional households, was through a man with money. While this idea

seemed to be popular belief among young girls, I see it even more widespread

among women.

 

Many women are looking for that handsome prince with riches

to come whisk them away from their average lives, their 9-to-5’s, their college

loans and credit card debt, their lame child support payments, etc. They want

to be rescued. I call it the Cinderella Syndrome.

 

The thing is though, Cinderella was just a fairytale.

 

In the real world, a man with money isn’t necessarily a

woman’s dream come true. You see, so many times women look and love for money

and wound up being miserable, empty, and lost. They believe that all their

problems will disappear once a rich man marries them, but the truth is, money

doesn’t eliminate problems and instead, sometimes it actually creates them.

 

In many cases, a woman will get involved with a man based on

his financial status and every chance he gets he will hold his status over her

head. He may become controlling and even abusive simply because he feels that

“he paid the cost to be the boss.” A woman is likely to stay and endure the

abuse because she has given up her independence since marrying her ultimate

breadwinner. She may not have as much education needed to get a well-paying job

and she may even have children by her husband who she fears she cannot take

care of on her own.

 

On top of everything, she becomes accustomed to a lifestyle

that regardless how much education she has or what type of job she qualifies

for, she will not be able to maintain on her own. Her life then goes from being

a fairytale to a nightmare. It’s that simple.

 

So, for you women who only talk to flashy men who drive a certain

kind of car, has a high-paying job or a high net-worth, and who can afford a

high-priced lifestyle yourselves, pay attention!

 

Everything that glitters ain’t gold.

 

Be careful what you ask for.

 

Nothing in life is free.

 

A woman married to a rich man who doesn’t have to work, but

still gets to drive around in fancy cars and dress in lavish clothes may seem

wonderful from the outside looking in. But how many times has that been the

complete opposite? We hear about it all the time, and the age-old saying

“everything that glitters ain’t gold” is the best way to describe the

situation.

 

You have men and women who pray for money and the good life

and when they get it they wound up becoming drug addicts or worse, committing

suicide. This is normally because they asked for something they couldn’t

handle, which is why I say be careful what you ask for.

 

And the last saying I mentioned above comes into play when

women believe that they can enjoy the fruits of “no labor” – when they think that

just saying “I do” to a wealthy man is all the work they need to put in to get

the rewards that otherwise would take years to obtain. But over time, they come

to see that all of the rewards they get definitely come at a cost.

 

Now, don’t get me wrong, I find no problem in wanting or

having a man with money. However, what I believe in is balance. I believe that

first and foremost, you should go after someone who is on the same level as

yourself, who can build with you instead of over top of you, who can grow with

you instead of outgrow you and who can look at you as an equal or a partner

rather than a prize or possession.

 

The rewards that come from being in a relationship with a

partner and a companion far outweigh the rewards that come from being with a suitor

or financial provider. It boils down to another age-old saying: “money doesn’t

buy happiness.”

 

Also, ladies, when you’re praying for a man with money, be

aware that you may be blocking your blessings. Like I said, there’s nothing

wrong with what you want, but it’s what you ask for that’s all wrong. Try

praying for happiness instead of money.

 

You see, if money and a lavish lifestyle make you happy,

than pray for happiness and those things will come. But when you single out

just the money, then you may end up with just the money – and thus you will

have blocked your blessing of overall and complete happiness.

 

The bottom line is nothing good can come out of going into a

relationship with ulterior motives. Getting married for money or having

children for money is pimping yourself or your kids. And really, what blessings

do you expect to get from doing such a thing?

 

Dig deep inside yourself and find out what it is that makes

you happy besides money and material possessions. And when you search for a

mate, try seeking out someone who can fulfill those simple things like making

you laugh or taking you to nice restaurants. Who knows? You may fall so deep in

love with that man or woman that you will start to realize just how unimportant

money really is. You will see that the “good life” doesn’t mean having the most

expensive of things. It’s much deeper than that.

 

The “good life” consists of having spiritual, emotional and

physical well-being. The “good life” is being 100% satisfied with who you are,

what you have, and who you’re with. It’s being thankful for everyday you wake

up and enjoying the life God blessed you with. It’s about being totally at

peace with yourself and your surroundings.

 

That’s the “good life” you should search and pray for,

because at the end of the day, whether rich or poor, it’s love that gets us all

through hard times.

 

Remember life is real. Cinderella is just a fairytale.

 

Miasha is the author

of Don’t Make Him Dinner, Make Him Rich! How to Be the Superwoman of Today,

coming soon. She is also author of fiction bestsellers Diary of a Mistress,

Mommy’s Angel, and Sistah for Sale,

all available in bookstores and online nationwide. For more information or to

hear Miasha address your comments, go to her website www.miasha.com and click on Miasha TV-Real

Talk.