The Socialite: Waiting Game (O.P.P.)

In 2007, R&B crooner Trey Songz hit it big with an anthem of patience from the outside looking in called “Can’t Help But Wait.” From the opening instrumentation, listeners are whisked away into a world of, “you deserve better” and a myriad of, “I can treat you better than he can,” in a way that […]

In 2007, R&B crooner Trey Songz hit it big with an anthem of patience from the outside looking in called “Can’t Help But Wait.” From the opening instrumentation, listeners are whisked away into a world of, “you deserve better” and a myriad of, “I can treat you better than he can,” in a way that makes this irregular love triangle something that you’d actually want to be a part of.


It’s the funniest thing, that with so many people in the world to choose from, we somehow manage to want someone that’s already spoken for; and we want it a million times as much as we would want a free agent. I chalk it up to human nature. Now more than ever, people find necessary to forcefully prove their worth or that they are better than someone else. And one of the best ways to do that is to match themselves up with direct competition.


For example, when 50 Cent officially stepped onto the scene six years ago, he built his momentum through consistency and comparisons. First, he wanted for people to think of him as 2Pac’s predecessor, reworking quite a few verses from the Makaveli album and laying them down in mix-tape form. In his first major hit, he was quoted as saying, “I want them to love me like they love ‘Pac.”


But he didn’t stop there. He wanted to claim that #1 slot as the best emcee in a shortest period of time. So he went extra hard at Ja Rule, changing how people perceived the current trendsetter of that time; simply stating that, “I say you’s a Wanksta’ and you need to stop frontin”. Well, you know the rest of the story.


Now let’s take it back to Trey’s#### record. What I’d like to do is paint a total picture of this four-minute record being told. Trey will play his role ‘Craig’, Simone will be his love interest and Morris will play the role of Simone’s boyfriend. Side Note: Anyone can apply this story to their particular situation, male or female.


Morris and Simone have been together for five years, no children, they land under the 100/100 ratio, and they love each other deeply – or so it seems. Both Simone and Morris have had their concerns with each other for quite some time. Simone has complained to Morris about his new found intensity to consume alcoholic beverages, and Morris has complained to Simone about her habit of not finishing what she starts.


Into their fourth year of the relationship, Simone makes a trip to the bookstore. Simone was in the corner skimming over The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene, when Craig walks by. Craig notices the color scheme of the book, it clicks in his mind what she’s reading and since he’s already read the book four times, he finds his opening to drum up conversation.


Simone welcomes Craig’s expertise on the book, as well as his small talk. She also informs him that she is in a committed relationship. Craig takes Simone’s status to heart. However, being so smitten by her, he decides to express his interests in wanting to be her friend. Simone accepts.


As time progresses, Simone becomes more comfortable around Craig. One reason why was because he reminded her of Morris early on in their relationship. Craig is very attentive to Simone’s emotions, makes her laugh all the time and compliments her until she turns purple in the face. It was in Craig that Simone finds her smile again, enhancing her confidence in every way; she even walks with a slicker strut. All the while, Morris becomes the sole beneficiary of Simone’s heightened swag.


The conversations between Craig and Simone weren’t all peaches and cream. Simone would often come to Craig about her concerns with Morris. Craig supported her each step of the way, in-turn Simone grew fonder of Craig. She begins to fall for Craig and he knows it. This is when Craig slowly makes his move on her. He tells Simone that Morris would never care for her, the way that he does. Craig tells Simone that he can treat her better than Morris can. And after weighing her emotions, she places her lips on Craig’s, marking the beginning of their connection.


Long story short, a year goes by and Craig is still in the position he started in, waiting. Simone had Craig convinced that she would leave Morris, but four months turned into eight, and so on. Craig wasn’t a happy camper. He invested his time, money and emotions into Simone for her to still be living with Morris. And just when Craig was ready to lay down an ultimatum, he receives a phone call from Simone, telling him that Morris is out of the picture.


The day that Craig has been waiting for has finally arrived, but not without a cost. Simone tells him that she needs some time alone to get her world in place; that it would be best if they slow things down to a halt. Craig, quiet as kept, held his composure for as long as he could before he exploded on her.


Craig: You need what?! You mean to tell me that our day has finally arrived to be together and now you want to slow us to a halt? The f**k, Simone! I waited a year and a half for you to wise up on dude. And this is how you repay me!


Simone: This isn’t about you, Craig! This is about me! I need some time to myself to understand what I want out of life.


Craig: So I’m not what you want out of life now!? I was everything that you wanted when you were with… oh, I see now. I see sh*t plain as day. I was nothing more than a supplement to you; a f**kin’ multi-vitamin to your relationship? And now that it’s over, we’re over? You used me! I don’t even want to hear from you when you, ‘get your life together.’ Lose my f*ckin’ number, Simone. (he hangs up)


At the end of the day, Craig learns what many people have learned in his position; your presence on the outside looking in is only as strong as the relationship that you’re trying to ruin. If Simone and Morris were all good, Craig would have gotten shot down at the bookstore. There wouldn’t have been an exchange of numbers, and that small talk would have been close to no talk.


And the ending of their connection, although an accurate scenario, is far from how most of these connections crash and burn. More often than not, being on the outside looking in, you’ll actually be helping your love interest to be better in the relationship they’re already in, making you obsolete.


Don’t get me wrong, “Can’t Help but Wait” is a great song. However, it was most likely written in pain and disappointment. If you don’t mind waiting, that’s your choice; grab yourself a Snickers while you’re at it. Just understand the fact that your odds of becoming an item with your love interest are as slim as Lil’ Mama.


Tips from the Socialite


Ladies and Gentlemen, but mostly ladies, be very careful of married men who boast the “Separated” status. I am not implying that every separated person you’ll come across isn’t legit. But more often that not, you’re being hoodwinked. The created story between Craig and Simone is a reality. A deeper reality is how married men and women are pulling the separated card on unsuspecting singles.

When someone has to pull their spouse off your back for being an accomplice in helping to break up an almost-happy home, remember that you knew the divorce papers didn’t go through, yet you still went along for the ride. It’s just as much your fault as the falsifier.


A relationship is best ended completely, compared to overlapping a slow ending with a new beginning. Simone made the best decision by releasing Craig. But that isn’t the normal ending. People who fear being alone for more than a day and a half would have ran into Craig’s arms without hesitation. Oh, and the cycle might not end with Craig. Because now that he’s the main guy, what would happen if he begins to slack off?


On that note, I’ll leave you with a question:


For those that have lived the “Can’t Help But Wait” lifestyle, honestly, what drew you to that person and how did it end up?TREY SONGZ “CAN’T HELP BUT WAIT”